It ain't over...

Every May, teachers in our parish get a bonus check from the school district. The money comes from some sales tax that was passed years ago. It's usually just tacked onto our check and direct deposited with the rest of our funds... but not this time. This time, it came in the form of a paper check delivered straight to [Name of School]. I got a heads up from a couple of friends on the faculty who told me that the principal planned to hold my check unless I came in for my exit interview or whatever.

Well, if that bitch thinks that I'm going to lose any sleep about $2,000, she's got another thing coming. For one, the district is legally obligated to see that I receive that money before it's all said and done. Secondly, my year of teaching at [Name of School] has made me into one patient motherfucker. I never could say that about myself before (the patient part, that is), so I guess I have picked up a valuable trait from this stint of teaching in hell. I've never been a paycheck to paycheck kind of guy. If I get the money now or I get it in July or August, it doesn't make much difference.

You know, this sort of thing would have really pissed me off a year ago, but now, I just tend to lay back and let things roll. The Feanor who would have once stormed in and said, "You better give me my fucking money!" is not really the strong voice in my head, anymore. Sure, I thought about it and it would have been pretty funny, but it would have been playing right into the principal's hand. I'm through with all that shit and no sum short of a million - tax free - will have my ass crawling back onto that campus. As Z-Ro the rapper says, "I'm not a ho." That shit can't fade me, bee-otch! (Sorry for all the profanity, people, I'm working it out of my system!)

I awoke this morning with none of the feeling of dread that usually accompanies waking up on a weekday, and I liked it... a lot. I'm free and it feels good... and it'll feel even better when I'm not homeless!

2...1... BLAST OFF!!!

I just wanted everyone to know... thanks to those of you who are still checking... that my tenure at [Name of School] is at an end. It was a good last couple of days, which I will blog about in more detail later. I apologize for my brevity as of late, but I'm currently a vagrant relying on the charity of others, and will be for the next few days. Please keep checking and more details will follow.

Back in the Saddle!

Just in case anyone's wondering, I am writing this post from my classroom and am back for a few final days of work. I am fully aware that I have some back-blogging to do regarding last week's Cross Canadian Ragweed concert and my recent moving venture to South Carolina. At the end of the school day, there's going to be a talent show and I am going to ROCK (along with my friend/co-worker on the drums) between the acts on guitar and bass. I'm looking forward to it. Otherwise, I'm just working on getting my grades finalized.

It's good to be back... especially after a week off!

Know anyone who wants to buy the road?

I'm the guy to talk to... I own the motherfucker!!!

It may sound a little extreme, but yesterday, we went to pick up our 24 foot U-Haul truck. I admit, I was a little nervous at first as I was backing it out, but once I got on the road, it was pretty obvious who was in charge. As I looked down at the peons driving their little cars below me... well, you don't know this feeling unless you've been there. I'm used to driving small cars around. Once I was comfortable, I called my friend AWG and said, "I'm Reginald Fucking Denny!" As long as I stay clear of South Central Los Angeles, my kingship of the road should be pretty secure. I'll be driving tomorrow (about to pack my computer now) and will have to be careful not to let that truck get to my head too much!

4/3

As the countdown gets closer to liftoff, the days continue to run together and, rather than be present in the moment, my mind is stuck in the future... not that I can blame myself. In these next few weeks, my wife and I will be making life-altering decisions that will influence our lives for many years to come. But, the future gets hard to think about in the midst of constant screaming and yelling, kids chasing and punching each other, and the like. By 10:30 Thursday morning, I did not think I was going to make it through the day... "Just get through this day and you will be out of here for a week, and just a few more days to go after that," I kept telling myself as I fought the urge to scrawl a resignation on a napkin, scrap of paper, sticky note, or whatever could be found...

...That was when the fire alarm went off. I didn't have a class at the time, so I contemplated staying in my room. Then, I looked out in the hall and saw smoke! Evidently, someone had started a fire in the trash can of the girls' bathroom (threw away a cigarette or something, I presume?). Recently, the old metal cans had been replaced with plastic cans, so from what I hear, the can melted! Anyway, that put us outside for about 45 minutes, then to lunch, then to the gym for over an hour. All in all, I think we were able to milk three hours out of the whole thing. I looked to one of my co-workers when we were outside and declared, "The Lord is merciful! I don't think I would have, otherwise, made it through this day." I can see the Hand of God in almost anything - especially when it gets me out of my normal work schedule. By the time we went back to class, there were like 30 minutes left in the day. I can handle that, Lord!

Thankfully, I had finished preparing my substitute materials for my week off before the alarm sounded. I dropped them off (including three classes worth of final exams) in the assistant principal's office and headed out. My week "off" (really, it's anything but a week off, with the move) has arrived, after nearly a month of waiting. I left school excitedly, ready to go see Cross Canadian Ragweed play a show in Ruston...

5

Today went by without much incident. The principal left sometime this morning and never came back. I gave the classes their fold, cut, and color study guides and 3 out of 5 classes completed them without much uproar. Second period was a bit rowdy, but that's my largest class (28), so a bit of that is to be expected. As usual, my third period just plain drove me crazy. Someone had some powder or maybe had gotten a hold of some chalk dust and they started slapping it onto each other. I wrote one girl up (same one that had been playing with the office call button yesterday) and five minutes later she was back in class. It seems that administrators are annoyed when students' behavior in your classroom affects them, but they don't seem to be too annoyed with the kid once they're referred to them... hmmm.

We watched an episode of The Office during my lunchtime class (we have a group that we keep for 25 minutes of "activity time" and 25 minutes of lunch). One kid actually thought it was funny. A few more were even willing to say, "Maybe it was a little funny." Perhaps, they're like Dean and just crave the British version.

After lunch, my day became a little more eventful, as I saw a headline that I never thought I would live to see: PENTAGON RELEASES 9/11 SECURITY VIDEO. In five years, the public has been supposed to take it on faith that a plane actually hit the Pentagon... even after our government confiscated any tape of the explosion from every surrounding building! Of course, I didn't read the mainstream media garbage. I went to Infowars.com and read this article. The thing is, the government would have never released even this sorry footage (sorry footage 1, sorry footage 2) if it were not fearing the gains that the 9/11 Truth movement is making. I admit that while I've entertained the notion that our government was actively involved in 9/11, something like this makes me absolutely sure that something is up! Why would it take five years to get even the slightest footage... and even if it were better, what would it prove in an era where any footage can be doctored?

The only thing that this footage release makes clear is the fact that for nearly five whole years, the public has not been allowed any disclosure concerning the Pentagon explosion... such great footage of New York, and none of the Pentagon. That makes so much sense, doesn't it? Anyone who has been on the sidelines... it's time to wake up! The evidence is strong that our government is a tyrannical one that kills people and hides the evidence in order to strengthen its own powers. I hope it's not true, but hope is all I have, because there is no evidence that I see that points to the government's version on 9/11 being true.

6

Summary of today: blah blah blah blah blah

Oh, I'll go on a little bit. Why not? I did some thinking last night about how to get through this week and came up with some fillers that might not be horribly ineffective when it comes to teaching kids. I started the class period with an open notebook "pop quiz," which took a good 20 minutes to complete (5 questions). Of course, that's not all the kids' fault... if I had had them all year, I would probably have been able to establish some routines, etc. But, then again, if I had been in there all year, I very well might have resigned by now.

I thought of a great little cut, fold, color activity to go along with the Bill of Rights. While it's the type of thing that these observers and "experts" would love if they stepped in and saw my students doing it, I know it's crap and just a cop-out so I don't have to actually teach. My jaw is throbbing and I just don't have the energy to keep yelling over them. I do want to make it out of this school year in one piece... I have come too far not to do that.

I had a good chat with an old "friend" during my planning period. I'm more relaxed around most people now that the year is nearing its end.

At the end of the day, someone up in the office had a bright idea to start dismissing students by individual busses on the intercom instead of by the normal bell. Of course, no one bothered to inform teachers of this. This is true to form with our administration and has come to be expected. Of course, my kids started going crazy and I wasn't about to stress myself out trying to stop them. What will be... will be. Some of my students decided to turn it up a notch and began pushing the call button to the office. Of course, the office kept calling back... and they kept doing so even after the kids stopped pressing the button. I started getting calls from the principal like, "Mr. [Feanor], will you please control your students and make them quit pressing the intercom button?" Then, followed by a, "Mr. [Feanor], are you aware that your students are pressing the intercom button." I'd had enough at this point. "I am aware..." I replied quite slowly and firmly, "that my intercom button is evidently JAMMED." Piece of crap intercom system and a no good principal who doesn't even bother to use courtesy in front of students... My students said, "Man, Mr. [Feanor], you got crunk on her!" Someone needs to. Never in my life have I worked for such a miserable, unpleasant boss.

I think during 6th period (an hour before the end of the day) someone might have announced that there was a faculty meeting, but I didn't hear it. ;) Especially after that deal with the intercom, I had reached my negativity threshold and was in no mood to be berated any further. It's been awhile since I've really gotten in someone's face and told 'em like it is. Hopefully, come June 1st, it'll have still been awhile, but if not, someone will have deserved what they got.

NOTICE: I think I've managed to make this post "family (Dean) friendly" in an effort to watch my mouth. It took A LOT of backspacing in the second to last paragraph. A keen reader will probably have an idea of the initial diatribe.

A Pleasant Evening...

Saturday was a good day. We slept late, then got up for a leisurely early afternoon spent running errands and packing. I went by the U-Haul place to reserve a truck and to get some boxes, furniture storage covers, etc. Afterwards, I stopped by Caplan's Men's Store (my college employer) to chat with some of the nice folks there. I spent an hour talking politics and such with the guys and got a good deal on a couple of shirts. I'm going to miss those people.

By the time I got home, my wife was cooking supper for some friends of ours who were coming over. They've been some of our best friends here, and while I hate to leave them, they plan to get married and move to California in the next few years, anyway. We ate my wife's delicious crawfish pasta, enjoyed some Sicilian red wine, and had some great conversation. After talking a little while together, my friend and I went out to the front porch for cognac and cigars. The weather outside was extremely nice and somewhat cool - quite unusual for Louisiana in May. I told my friend that I was going to miss sitting on my porch - I haven't done it nearly enough. It'll probably be awhile before I have a front porch that cool again, but it will happen in due time. It's nights like these that will give me fond memories of living in Central Louisiana. My time here has been good, but at the same time, I wouldn't be caught dead working in this school system another year.

The Office (Wrap-Up)

Last night's season finale of The Office did not disappoint... except for the fact that there will not be any new episodes until the fall! However, there are supposed to be some "webisodes" during the summer that might do something to satisfy my appetite for new laughs. It's kind of funny how seasons of shows seem to be built around teachers' schedules. This show has been there for me since October to lift my spirits during some of the roughest weeks of the year, and now it goes away for the summer as I am about to go away for... well, it would be for the summer if I were teaching again next year. Analogies never quite work 100%!

There are some cool websites that I'll be checking out in the meantime:

The Office Quote Battle - This site keeps giving you two quotes from various episodes and you decide which one is funniest. I need to add Michael's bit about being the "boss of dancing" from the Booze Cruise episode. (I just added it... we'll see how it does in the battle.)

Kevin Malone's MySpace - Kevin is definitely the coolest supporting character on the show. His band, Scrantonicity, totally rocks! (Well... in an odd, 80's sort of way!) NOTE TO YOU IDOL FANS: Check out Kevin's latest post about Chris D. I'm not an Idol fan, but I know that AWG and Michelle are. It looks like Chris D. would have had an amazing opportunity if he had won!

Limited Profile

I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Facebook website, but it's a nice little site where you can post pictures of yourself, list your interests, favorite movies and books, etc. It's designed to help college buddies stay in touch and to even find folks from high school that you might not have talked to in awhile. A few years ago, I had started a page on MySpace, but it only took a matter of weeks for my mom to snoop around and find it, then I never heard the end of her negative critique of my pictures, what music I listen to, movies I watch, etc. I started a Facebook account because it's only visible to your friends, rather than public.

But... you can never be too careful. A few weeks ago, my brother's fiance invited me to be on her friends list, and I accepted, but then posted a picture of myself (the same one I posted on the blog awhile back) of me flipping the bird at those who would dare to harm innocent folks in my beloved Oklahoma. If mom was going to be spying on me through Facebook, I wanted to know about it. Sure enough, this morning, I got an angry call from mom complaining about the picture, as well as another picture in my friend's album of me hopelessly drunk with my head in the toilet, taken like (notice the lingo, Dean) over three years ago. Curiously, she did not find out from my brother's fiance; rather, she had logged on as my cousin to see a picture of her boyfriend, and I guess found me by accident? Yeah right. She acts like she just stumbled on my profile, but I know better.

My first reaction was to delete anyone who was remotely family as a friend, but then I found out about a curious new feature of Facebook, that being the Limited Profile. You can make a list of people who only see the limited profile and also what portions of your page are available to these people. So, I've invited most of my family members back, but all they can see is my name, schools, and contact information - as well as a now harmless photo of me in my Oklahoma City Memorial shirt and a John Deere cap. Now that I can protect trivial personal information, I don't need to put an offensive picture as my main photo.

So, all's well, and mom will never have to worry about seeing another picture of her boy flipping the bird or throwing up after having a little too much "Captain" in him! It's a shame that it's often your family that seems the least eager to know who you really are.

8/7

I'm sorry for getting out of my habit of the daily "countdown" post. None of you know how thankful I am that y'all take a few minutes out of your day to see how I am doing. That really feels great to know that. Unfortunately, the closer things get to the move and my ultimate departure, the more difficult it becomes for me to derive any joy at all out of what I do. My teaching is lackluster, primarily because I cannot muster the passion and energy that used to be second-nature... so long ago. I've hit a bit of a rut, it seems, but with only four days until my week off to move and three days after that, I am convinced that I am going to make it.

I think that some of my students have noticed my impatience and irritability. One of my kids said, "You know what you need to do? You need to smoke a blunt and listen to some Soulja Slim!"

I've got the Slim if someone's got a blunt. LOL I love the various ways that kids express their concern. Sometimes, the things that sound the most odd are the most sincere statements of care from these kids. Okay, I may be stretching it a little bit, but I think the boy really was trying to be helpful. I'm taking tomorrow off to do some packing and close some bank accounts, etc., to get ready for the move. Perhaps, I will find a way to relax (and blog about non-work stuff) during this three day weekend.

God help me. St. John Chrysostom, pray for me, please... and any of you out there feel free to do so, as well.

To the developed world... WAKE UP!!!

One blog that I check daily is Nerdanel's Story, which showcases writings of a talented British writer and teacher. Each post contains a chapter of Tolkien-based fiction told from the point of view of Tolkien's character, Nerdanel, the wife of Fëanor. For those of us who didn't see enough of Fëanor in Tolkien's The Silmarillion, this sort of thing is a real treat to read!

As great as this writer's work is, the reason I want to call attention to her blog is for the most recent post. Like me, she is also leaving the teaching profession - at least for the time being. If you will read some of her work, you can tell that we're talking about an intelligent, talented, and incredibly creative person, here. However, the system (at least in developed countries) has made teaching such a mechanical, red tape ridden chore, that people of this caliber do not seem to be welcome as teachers. WHY would anyone want to set up the system so that people like this are run off?! WHY should it be impossible for someone to find intellectual fulfillment within the walls of a classroom?!

I suppose the no good, crooked politicians and the bureaucrats can continue to ruin our education system if they want, but they just need to be aware that they are running off a lot of good people in the process. But, then again, why do they want the best and brightest teaching when the object of the system seems to be to turn kids into subjects rather than citizens?

9

What an odd feeling it is to find myself typing a one digit number as the title for a blog post! I don't know how often anyone else does this, but I found myself looking through my blog archives this morning. This blog was started by someone who had given up all hope and was neck-deep in the mire around him, seeing no way out. It was amusing to see the progression from this depressed, hopeless individual to someone who is full of bright hopes and is about to embark on a new chapter of life. In the last six months, problems have arisen, and most have either been solved or have gone away. I think that's the best thing about starting a blog, that one gets to see time passing and the Lord working in one's life - well, all that and being invited to Oklahoma for CCR and tasty Calf Fry!

Today was the closest I've been this year to getting to work late... I got there right as the bell was ringing for students to report to class. No worries, but had I been a minute later it might have caused a problem. Usually, on Mondays, I want to drag my weekend out for as long as possible. Does this happen to anyone else? It's a good thing I don't have a Monday morning duty post!

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week. Our principal arranged for the Mary Kay lady to give us free samples of some "satin hands" products. My hands feel quite nice... so nice, in fact, that I purchased some of the product - for my wife, of course!

10 (Cinco de Mayo)

It seems that time is flying. If I were a space shuttle, I would be starting to have a bunch of fire under me right now! My class periods consisted of study time, followed by a short test, followed by the kids having 10 minutes or so at the end of class to goof off. I made the test short because I hadn't covered a lot of material. I always put an item on there for my own amusement. We had talked about the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and I told the kids that they needed to know what FDA stood for. When I made the test, I decided to write the item like this:

The Food and Drug Administration is better known as the _______________.

Needless to say, most everyone got this right, but it is always amusing when you just throw a freebie out there and some people STILL don't get it. People will have to see that my class is not that difficult but it is not a friggin' joke! I am not going to cut people slack this time when I have been very straightforward with the material and have made it totally accessible.

After school, I kept to my strict regimen of relaxation and partying (people think I'm joking, but I have done everything but write out a schedule - my sanity WILL be kept!). My wife and I went out to get some Mexican food for Cinco de Mayo. We use any excuse to go to the Mexican restaurant, especially since we will be moving and will not have our favorite restaurant anymore. I got a margarita, and my wife - who rarely drinks anything - ordered a strawberry daquri and drank most of it. We had a great time, and after we got home, my friend called and said they'd be going to the local Irish pub. I joined him (around 9 or so) and planned to stay for a little while, but actually ended up staying until the last call at 2 AM. Every hour or so, when I was about ready to drive home, another opportunity to drink would present itself, whether it be a friend showing up or the bartender making one too many Irish Car Bombs and needing someone to drink one for free. You just can't (at least I can't) turn down a free Irish Car Bomb!

I spaced out my drinks well and never got too drunk, and spent most of the evening talking to old friends and strangers about politics, the education system, and the Lord (well, I couldn't talk about the Lord with one guy because he was an ardent atheist). It's amazing how good a night of pleasant conversation makes one feel. God is good, I am content, and now, it's time to help out a bit with the packing!

11

School... blah... just finished up the preamble, etc. I actually left school within 30 minutes of the school day being over. It will take some getting used to with track season over and having no after school obligations.

I had a great evening, watching my usual hour of My Name is Earl and The Office. On The Office, Michael took over mediation of employee conflicts. It was so funny. He had this real fruity looking poster and binder, trying to make employees settle the conflict using the "win, win, win" strategy. The most memorable line was when Michael was about to pull another one of Angela's complaints and Angela said, "You already did me." Michael's response? A quick, "That's what she said," without missing a single beat. I just love that show!

It's hard to believe that I've only got 10 more days to work in order to meet my contract obligations. No more thoughts of resignation, just a determination to get it over with and have as much fun as I can in the process!

ENTER SEX SITE

What started off as a harmless Fantasy Five contest has gotten this blog referenced on a porn link site. I got on Technorati to see how many times my blog has been linked recently, and saw one that I didn't expect at all! Evidently, a Google Blog Search of Desperate+Housewives+Eva qualifies a blogger to get his/her own words printed in part, surrounded by a bunch of links to porn sites. If you scroll down on this link to May 3 and my Fantasy Five title, you'll see what I'm talking about. You don't actually have to look at any porn to see these links. Thanks to Sweetbabyk, I am becoming known and referenced in every corner of the blogosphere... even the darkest, seediest corners. ;)

And since I put the three words above, this post will probably be used to advertise porn, as well. I wonder if it works for Colin Firth and Hugh Grant! LOL

12

As far as instruction... blah... we started a unit on the Constitution and I was able to get halfway through explaining the PREAMBLE. At this rate, we won't even get to the Bill of Rights. (I've included links for my foreign readership - this blog has become a truly international entity!)

The biggest news item for my kids for the day was that Houston rapper Big Hawk was shot on the night of 5/1. Evidently, he'd arrived at a friend's house that evening before his friend arrived, walked to the side of the house, and someone busted a series of caps. "Why would anybody want to kill Big Hawk?" I asked. I have fond memories of listening to clips from Hawk's Bad Azz Mix Tape II with some of my students during my first year teaching. I really enjoyed this clip from this song called Go. You can listen to the clip by clicking here. I'd recommend it to anyone because it's real short. I can't pull up the lyrics online because it's pretty underground, but some memorable quotes from the clip were

To whom it may concern, [N-WORD] it's my turn, you boys gone learn, when Hawk spit it's burn baby burn...Im'a wreck your flow, Checkmate ho, and "X" you out like tic-tac-toe... I send one through your afro... surrender, ho, I'm a gladiator, bitch, like Russell Crowe... and the object of the game IS TO GET THAT DOUGH!!!

Anyway, y'all get the point. It's kind of catchy, although not all of my readers will agree with me more than likely. I actually used that last part when I'd teach economics, sometimes saying, "The object of the game..." and my kids would finish, "IS TO GET THAT DOUGH!!!" I have such fond memories of my early days of teaching, and I'm sure I will have fond memories of this year in the future (and have made many, already).

The funniest part of this whole Hawk incident is that my kids came in talking about how he had been shot, but I really know more about Hawk than any of the kids in my class. When I asked, "Did someone send one through his afro?" They didn't even know what I was talking about. He was evidently too underground while he was alive and once rap radio announces his death, all the sudden there's a Kurt syndrome (except that Hawk will be forgotten within the week). If only we could get rap radio to cover other current events that are more pertinent to our society, then my kids would be culturally literate. That would be great if I didn't get just a series of blank expressions when I mention big news like the May Day Immigration Protests.

Well, regardless of my kids' cultural literacy, you will be sorely missed, Big Hawk. Like Russell Crowe's Maximus, you have met an untimely death at the hands of a cowardly enemy. Next time I drink a 40, I'll pour a little of it out for you, my boy!

Fantasy Five

At the request of Sweetbabyk (and these sorts of requests can't be taken lightly!), I am making an honest effort to post my "fantasy five." Let me start by saying you women are crazy!!! As for me, I only have eyes for my wife, and although I have quite an eye for rare beauty, I'm having trouble coming up with specific names and faces... well, five of them, at least. But, then again, how many guys can say that they have NEVER missed an episode of Desperate Housewives? (But let me clarify that I leave the room before Grey's Anatomy starts.)

Eva Longoria

13

I'm not really in the habit of posting non-gangsta lyrics, but this new band I've discovered makes such a thing necessary. It seems nearly every song I listen to I can identify with. Being back at work makes me realize how much I want OUT of this business for the time being. When we were going by the OSU campus, I was like, "Stop the car! Let me ENROLL!!!" I want to be back in school so bad! This is for AWG and Sweetbabyk, as well as Dean's Rolo Cookies, who made it to the concert in his stead:

Carney Man

By: Cross Canadian Ragweed

I want a big red nose I want some floppy shoes
I want a squirty flower squirt it on you
Like all the bad clowns do
I want to juggle bowling pins in the sun
I want to join the circus, the circus looks like fun
I'll sit and work the gate or I can guess your weight
I'll even sell the corn dogs I don't care
As long as I am there
I'll hand out baseballs at the dunk tank
I'll ride my funny car laughing... all the way to the bank

Cause I'm a carney man I'm a carney man
I'm a carney man I'm a carney man carney man carney man

The human cannonball I'll rise above it all
Up higher than the trapeze I can fly Oh god I'm gonna die
I am a carney worker I make two bucks
Every hour come to find out ... this job it really sucks*

Cause I'm a carney man I'm a carney man
I'm a carney man I'm a carney man
You need a corndog I can tell You need a corn dog I can tell
I'm a carney man

*As you can guess, there are a lot of folks like myself in the audience who scream an alternate description of this job that *$&%ing sucks. On the live version that I heard, they scream it out, and Cody Canada yells out, "I didn't say it! I didn't say it!" He had told the crowd that if it were said on the live record, it would be their fault. Hilarious.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm here taking tickets, riding my trick car, and guessing weight. It can be fun, but it also kind of sucks. Maybe we all feel like that at our jobs sometimes, but I think I can handle 12 more days of being a "Carney Man."

Not to be outdone...

Sweetbabyk might have been around for a whole year, but this is my 100th post! Sure, a year may be hitting the big time, but every little mile stone counts!

White Trash WITHOUT Money (My Trip to OK)

On Saturday morning (actually early afternoon, by the time I crawled out of bed and got some maintenance done on my car) , I drove out of Louisiana for what will be remembered as one of the best weekends of my life. It all started when Sweetbabyk mentioned something about a "Calf Fry" on her blog. When I saw it involved steer nuts and Cross Canadian Ragweed, I thought, "Hmmm... interesting cuisine... very likely BEER... and one of AWG's favorite bands!" Andrew likes all kinds of underground, out there sort of bands, and I knew that Cross Canadian Ragweed was a big favorite of his. I had not heard much of them.

So, this thing grew into a big thing involving Sweekbabyk, AWG, Dean, and myself. I made the 8 hour drive through North Louisiana, Northeast Texas, and on to Oklahoma City. I met Andrew at Dean's place, and after Dean got home we watched some SNL, then Andrew and I spent the early morning hours talking about the various problems facing our nation. I awoke the next morning to Dean asking me how many eggs I wanted for breakfast. After a nice feast and some hanging around, we went to this lame-ass arts festival that was one of the most crowded things I've ever been to. Dean said something about all the "culture" there. I replied, "This is not culture! A bunch of rednecks eating steer nuts, drinking beer, and listening to country rock... THAT'S CULTURE! This is just a bunch of paintings and sculptures and a big crowd of people passing time." Granted, it was probably a pretty decent arts festival if you're into that sort of thing, but I had my eyes set on the goal of my long-distance trip, and that goal was Calf Fry.

So, after leaving Dean (who was not coming to Calf Fry with us, but got me a cool Oklahoma City Memorial t-shirt!), we left Oklahoma City and hit the road toward Stillwater, home of OSU and the Tumbleweed Calf Fry "Testicle Festival." After we had been on the road a bit, I told Andrew that I needed to get myself acquainted with Ragweed if I was going to see them in concert. He promptly put in a live album and there were some absolutely rockin' tracks on it. After hearing songs like Goin' South, Boys from Oklahoma, and President Song, I was absolutely hooked! Where had this band been all my life?! I got Andrew to take me by the Hastings in Stillwater so that I could buy their newest album and listen to it. The album is not quite as good as the live album (you just can't beat a live album!), but it's got some great stuff on it, including a song called Dimebag, which is a tribute to two of my favorite musicians - Dimebag Darrell (Pantera) and Kurt Cobain (Nirvana) - who met untimely deaths. Although Ragweed is classified as "Country," you feel that rock pouring out all through most of the songs. I'd love to see them make a hard rock album just to do it!

Well, back to the trip... I haven't even gotten to the main event! After driving around listening to some rockin' tunes, Andrew and I went to Eskimo Joe's (a local tourist trap with some great burgers and fresh-cut fries) to wait on Sweetbabyk and her boyfriend to show up. They've got this big gift shop in there and Andrew and Dean both told me that I needed to buy a t-shirt. Although I preferred a Calf Fry shirt, I went ahead and bought one for my wife and one for my little sister-in-law. When I told my wife what I got for her, she said, "I've always wanted one of those! People used to wear those when I was in school!" That was odd, because I had never even heard of this place (possibly because I spent most of my middle/high school years in South Carolina). Sweetbabyk and her boyfriend joined us, and we had a great time just chatting at the table. It's interesting to meet someone when you've read their writing, but never met. You feel like you know this person, but you don't... and after about 10 minutes, you feel like you've known this person forever - probably due to you knowing all kinds of details about this person's life already. After everyone was finished eating, we made our way to the Tumbleweed to see the show - but not before giving Sweetbabyk some Rolo cookies that Dean had sent in lieu of his presence.

Stoney LaRue was on stage when we got to the Calf Fry. We found a parking space that wasn't in the mud/who knows what else mixture that dominated the parking area. We had listened to him some on the way to the concert. I love his CD artwork (some is present on the website). Both Stoney and CCR (as in Ragweed) have this Christian outlaw thing going that I can kind of identify with in a way. The Lord's servants come in all shapes and sizes - on the jacked of the Ragweed live album, they thank "the sixth member, Our Lord Jesus Christ." That's awesome!

They handed us plastic souvenier cups on our way in. After we got settled, I got a pitcher of beer to use with our cups and also got a Calf Fry dinner! When you go to order, you're supposed to say, "nuts," and then they take your four dollars and give you your basket full of goodies (my picture of me with my meal is stuck on my phone, but when I get around to paying to get it off, I will post). A friend of mine had told me that once you start eating deep fried steer nuts, you don't want to stop. How true this was... they are absolutely delicious with Bud Light (and I'm sure other beers, as well... they didn't have Dos Equis on tap, but I'm sure that would have been better). Unfortunately, neither AWG, Sweetbabyk, nor her significant other (who I think has sampled them on a previous occasion) were interested in sharing, so I had to have some to go.

Cross Canadian Ragweed took the stage and ROCKED for two solid hours. Before they got on, the loudspeakers started booming Walk by Pantera, which my drunk ass happily screamed along with. That really got me in a mood to enjoy the show. Cody Canada (lead vocals and guitar) was absolutely amazing on stage, especially when he'd start playing guitar solos. I went up close a little bit into the show (Sweetbabyk does not like dense crowds) and when I watched Canada knock out a long, fast solo, I had a new hero! (Once again, let me say I'd love to hear a pure hard rock album written by this guy.) While these guys have country roots, they leave no question about what kind of band they are, and that is a rock band! Anyone who was confused about this could note the mohawk haircuts on every band member but Canada, who kept his trademark long hair. A highlight of the show was the crowd pleasing Boys from Oklahoma (The boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong...). Everyone in the crowd (even me, who learned the chorus in Andrew's car) was singing along. A little bit of weed (but not as much as you'd expect) came out during the tune, but not as much as I expected. Some lame frat boy looking guy actually told someone around me to, "put that shit out." Had this guy never been to a rock concert before? Live and let live, that's what I say... especially when you go to a concert!

Near the end of the set, Canada mentioned that although their fanbase is growing, the band has turned down three tours with Toby Keith. These guys are totally committed to staying grassroots, so committed that I guess they'll never spell white tra$h with a dollar sign! While AWG thought they were missing a good opportunity, I guess I can respect their artistic integrity (although, really, it IS Toby Keith... what would be the harm in it?). However, if you ask me, Toby Keith should be opening up for these guys!

Cody Canada, you rock! Point to yourself, you BMF!

As the concert was wrapping up, I went back and joined my friends - one old, two new - and watched the rest of the show before heading out. Sweetbabyk traded her t-shirt for one she, I guess, liked better, and I bought a Ragweed bumper sticker with some help from Andrew, who pitched in two bucks on it for me (I had spent my cash on tickets, shirts, and beer). I will proudly display it on my car starting... well, as soon as I finish this post!

We all went out to the parking lot and said our goodbyes before jumping in the car. Before hugs were exchanged, there was a moment when we all stood there, not wanting the night to end, but like it or not, it was over. It took us forever to get out through the maze of cars and drunk folks, but we got out okay and headed back to Dean's house in OKC.

This morning, I woke up, got ready to go, and left. I played my new Cross Canadian Ragweed CD for the first six hours of the trip - never took it out - then stopped to buy the live CD that Andrew and I had listened to the day before. I'm absolutely hooked on this band! I got home this evening, and after such an awesome weekend, I can identify with a shirt I saw at the concert, which said: "I'd rather go to HELL than WORK!"

For those of you wanting pictures, one of the pictures above is of me (not Eskimo Joe!). Sweetbabyk told Andrew that I didn't look like what she expected, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to put a pic up once in awhile. Congrats to Michelle for catching the picture I had posted in November (I had not noted that it was me - she just guessed). For anyone wondering about Sweetbabyk, she looks a lot like the My Little Pony pic she just posted than she does like Ms. Piggy. When I saw the pony pic today, I was like, "Yeah, that's her! I know because I saw her!"

Thanks, Dean, for being such a great host (I left a little "surprise" for you in your fridge - it was supposed to be my lunch), although I must say you are a bit of an "Early Reusser." (Have you heard that one before?) Sweetbabyk, it was great meeting you and your man! And AWG, my boy, it's always a pleasure to get to hang out with a great old friend (less than two years, but it seems like we've known each other forever!)