Democracy in Action?

I saw a disturbing article today about a substitute teacher who will be returning to work at an elementary school after having a sex change operation. It seems like the liberal, godless (or godsless, for some of my readers) agenda keeps marching on in spite of the protests of many god(s)-fearing Americans. This part of the article especially disturbed me:

After two hours of public debate and a private meeting with McBeth and her lawyer, the board took no action on calls by several parents to bar McBeth from returning to the school where she taught for five years before becoming a woman.

"It was magnificent," McBeth said afterward. "You saw democracy in action."

Okay, let me get this straight... several parents protest this person's employment and the board does NOTHING and this is "democracy in action?" To me, it looks like despotism in action, when the people find no voice in their elected officials who are supposed to represent their interests. Where is liberty when you have no control over whether your fifth-grader (or kindergartener) will be taught by someone who mutilates themselves and passes this on as an acceptable value?

Parents, it's high time to get your kids out of government schools.

Three Questions

Here is a link to a story that my friend sent me, written by Leo Tolstoy, the author of War and Peace:

Three Questions

It is a good deal shorter than War and Peace (which I also enjoyed) and it's a nice little story.

As for my life, it looks like we're waiting another two weeks to hear about the jobs we interviewed for. So, in the meantime, I guess I should concentrate on those around me in the here and now.

Mardi Gras

It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Perhaps, I'll consider going outside later. The best thing about this Sunday is that it will be followed by a Monday and a Tuesday OFF from work! That's one of the things that I will miss about Louisiana when I leave it. As one of my readers/hecklers loves to remind me, there's a distinct culture here that you won't find anywhere else... of course, it's accompanied by some of the worst public schools in the country!

I've taken some time to relax and try to get my mind off of the events to take place next week. We have an appointment with the real estate agent tomorrow afternoon, and are also expecting to hear from the principal we interviewed with at any time that day. Although I have a sure option of full-time graduate study available to me, I am curious as to what the principal will have to say. My greatest concern is that my wife receives a job, which I think is likely. One of her references e-mailed her to tell her that someone had called from the school to ask more questions and seemed very interested in her.

As far as the job I interviewed for goes, it may include the opportunity to teach upper-level classes... an opportunity that does not present itself often. If I am offered this job, I will have to weigh graduate study (which will add to my credentials) against this job (which may make further credentials unnecessary because it's the kind of job I want). The biggest problem is just knowing that this principal wants to contact us and I'm not sure what he will say... but I am sure it must contain at least SOME good news if he wants to take time out of his day to speak with us again.

My brother made an interesting point yesterday when I presented my situation to me. "You can do both," he said. It sounds crazy, but technically, I could pursue the history degree part-time, but it will take awhile and/or not be easy. Anyway, that's all assuming that I am even offered this job.

Regardless, I've got a bird in the hand, and for that I should be thankful.

The blog is not dead!

My lack of contributions over the last few days have been due to my being buried in my own thoughts (and track and field practice and waiting an hour after practice for late rides) since being offered the assistantship. Those of you who have been faithful readers know that I interviewed for a job a few weeks back. My wife and I received an e-mail from the principal who interviewed us and he wants to speak with us early next week (I hope it's good news). Regardless, it seems that we will know something soon and in the meantime, I will mull over contingencies (and probably share some thoughts over the weekend).

Dude, Where's My Blog?

My blog was showing up as just a sheet of blank red and I fiddled with it a bit and realized that I had, somehow, messed up my template while trying to add another blog to my list of links...

...perhaps it's the judgment of the Almighty for my adding a blog called Heathen Dialogue. Don't worry, God-fearing, Abrahamic folk... I will have your blogs back on my sidebar before you know it... it might be the weekend though.

Dean, criticize THIS! ;)

I got an e-mail today:

Dear [Feanor],

the History department graduate committee would like to offer you a Faculty Senate assistantship to make the cost of our MA program more affordable.
Please let me know when is a good time to call to explain things to you.

with best wishes,
Steve Marks
Professor and Graduate Coordinator
Department of History
Clemson University
Clemson, SC

Happy (Late) Valentine's Day

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

H-U-S-T-L-E-R

"I'd rather die in the pen than be a dirty rat."

-- Soulja Slim

For a long time, I've tried to understand the attraction of the young to the "gangsta" lifestyle. I mean, what does this lifestyle have to offer over that of being an educated professional?

Ha Ha! I guess my readers know what a great time I'm having as an educated professional this year. One good thing about teaching is that my students are always offering to keep me current on music... most of the time, this is unwelcome, but once in awhile, I find something I like. The other day, one of my students from New Orleans brought me a Soulja Slim CD, which I quickly ripped onto my computer. I was listening to it this weekend and was, oddly, quite impressed! This is not your run-of-the-mill commercialized crap... this is straight up real shit from the streets! (or was... Soulja Slim met an untimely death a few years ago... you can't get much more street cred than that!) If anyone wants to check out a few tracks, I would recommend "hustler" and "cheeze eataz." It's odd how one is spelled the standard way, while the other is phonetic, but oh well.

Anyway, back to my initial struggle to understand the gangsta lifestyle. I was walking down the breezeway between classes, when I found myself chanting the chorus to "Hustler." "I'm a mutherfuckin' HUST-LA, a mutherfuckin' HUST-LA, H-U-S-T-L-E-R!" Then, it hit me... for that brief moment, I daydreamed about being a "hustler." I thought for a second about what it would be like to abandon my clock-punching lifestyle for a new life of selling drugs, pimpin', and all sorts of other ill shit.

While I probably won't quit my day job, I probably will continue to daydream once in awhile about a more exciting life. And the thing is, I'm only stuck in this job for a year... these kids are stuck in their situations for Lord knows how long. How can I judge them for their fantasies when we all dream once in awhile?

CLARIFICATION

I hope that I didn't send the message with the last post that I agree with the politics of the Venezuelan dictator/president. While I like the fact that he's standing up to "Condolencia," I don't endorse any sort of socialism or despotism as a preferable form of government. I do have to agree with BlankHardDrive, who postulated that Chavez is probably a great wrestler to earn all of those awards. Anyone remember the Mexican Wrestling Federation that was on Mad TV back in the day?


"I am El Asso Wipo! I will break their backs like SOAP a-so... over my knee!"

Don't mess with me, girl!

Hugo Chavez, the "president" of Venezuela, has had plenty of choice words for Secretary of State "Condolencia" Rice. I like the play on words, in which Chavez substitutes her first name for the Spanish word for "condolences." He needs to send condolences to us that we have a wannabe global dictator as Secretary of State.

He made some other great comments that you can read about by following this link.

You notice how we don't seem to get along with anyone who exports oil?

Photo courtesy of www.dictatorofthemonth.com.

All Quiet...

Another weekend comes to a close... 65 working days left, with 14 days of sick leave remaining and at least one day that I'll be out for professional reasons... However, sometimes I being to wonder why the hell I'm still counting! My boss returned on Friday, but was strangely pleasant... a welcome change.

It seems that now, my greatest problem is that it's cold as fuck! Excuse my choice of words, but it's been in the 30s ALL DAY! I know that many of my readers are complaining of temperatures far lower, but this Louisiana boy likes to walk out in the afternoon expecting it to be 60 degrees in the middle of winter. The biggest problem is that my house is very drafty and not built to withstand freezing temperatures. Although I will probably miss this place later on, I would sell it right now to any reasonable bidder and even take a loss if I can just sit next to a warm fire!

I've spent most of the weekend reading, primarily Montesquieu. For so long, I have neglected to feed my brain and am much happier after reading a little political philosophy...

Wife keeps reminding me that I'm missing Desperate Housewives... over and out!

I got that gingerbread... man!

Some of my most faithful readers may remember my November post regarding the Snowman t-shirt controversy stemming from a design created by the rapper, Young Jeezy. Although not a Jeezy fan, I bought one of these shirts, determined that the racist institutions should not have the last word on free speech. Although the establishment loves to talk about diversity, the same folks work to crush any creative venture by minorities. Anyway, I've adapted the design for this year's track t-shirts, and my students like it. Some even remember the story of the gingerbread man!


As far as I know, "gingerbread" is not yet slang for any illicit substance... although maybe someone will think about that next, but for what?

Whether I am here or not...

As I look at my calendar and mark off another day, I notice that there are 66 working days left in my contract year. Although A-Dub is much more of a numerologist than I, I think six is supposed to signal incompletion or near-completion or something? However it works out, I comfort myself knowing that my temporary situation is nearing an end.

At the same time, it's been a pretty good week. Of course, we spent the first two days out interviewing for next year, but the last two days have been bearable. I've got a lot of good kids and I find ways to entertain myself during the day. Sometimes, I just start dancing in front of the kids... they get a kick out of it, I get a little exercise, and a good time is had by all. I guess you could say that I'm an idiot or a buffoon for a living. I get paid quite well when you put it in those terms.

The best thing about this week is that the principal has been out sick. Of course, one of my co-workers and I were discussing that we didn't wish any calamity upon her, but we were enjoying her absence all the same. At my old school, when the principal was gone for 3-4 days, the place fell apart. At this school, things are no different (except for the fact that some of our spirits are lifted a bit). One begins to realize just how irrelevant this person is to the running of the school.

It reminds me of a great episode of the office, where Michael is about to dismiss his employees when he is going to a meeting with his corporate boss and a client. When she asks him why, he says, "They just don't get anything done when I'm not here... wait, no, I know how to delegate... they get MORE work done when I'm not here... well, the same amount... whether I am here or not."

Back to life

We got home last night at a decent hour, having made the drive home from South Carolina in 10 hours and 55 minutes. We were shooting for less than 11 hours, and made it just in time. We were inspired by an episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete where Petes' dad is the "King of the Road." The man had an obsession with "making good time." One thing I learned is that it's a good way to stay awake... over 11 hours, we never switched drivers and I never got tired.

Back to work today... 67 days remaining... The transition "back to Earth" was not as awkward as I thought. My wife and I are looking forward to the possibility of getting the jobs we interviewed for, but I realized that my students entertain me and I can do this in the meantime while I wait. The possibility of teaching history again is re-awakening the sleeping scholar in me. This evening, I've been reading in Montesquieu's The Spirit of the Laws and thinking of ways that I can use it one day in my classroom. It's been a long time since I've taught history... even longer since I've taught it with passion... and I'm enjoying the return of my inner fire.

Interestingly enough, Montesquieu postulates that colder climates are more likely to produce free people, noting that so many empires have been near the equator... not that I totally agree with it, but it is easing some of my reservations about the South Carolina climate being colder than what I'm used to. Instead of imagining myself "freezing," I can imagine myself "freeing!"

Yeah, I'm full of crap, but I'm enjoying my book!

On The Road

My silence over the last few days can be easily explained by the fact that my wife and I got on the road on Saturday and went to South Carolina for job interviews. We will be hitting the road again today to return to Louisiana, and hopefully I will be able to resume a normal posting schedule.

I think that the interviews went well, and now we can only wait, hope, and pray. I appreciate the intercessions of my friends and readers.

Freakin' IDIOT!

I've spent the last few days getting things together for one part of my job that I still THOROUGHLY ENJOY... taking a group of kids to the state student council convention. It's an overnight trip, which is something that these kids from poorer backgrounds don't get to experience much. This afternoon, I was getting my principal to sign paperwork and she was very supportive of the trip... "This is too good to be true..." I thought, as I told her how much I was looking forward to the trip. For the past two years, my wife has accompanied me to these things in a second vehicle. This year, I'm just bringing four guys, so the second vehicle (and the female chaperone) will be unnecessary.

When I told her how happy I was to be bringing one car, she looked up at me and said, "You can't use your vehicle... District policy says that you can't transport students in personal or rented vehicles... only in school busses." Although someone in the downtown transportation department agreed with her on this, I know that this is not true, as it happens all the time. Basically, you just have to show the district that you have a certain amount of insurance.

However, I am thinking about taking her up on this and taking a school bus (and a fellow teacher as a driver). I think it would be fun... just six guys riding in a school bus for two hours each way... a little expensive, but fun. If anyone asks us, "What the heck are you DOING (in a school bus with four kids)?" I will respond that someone is a "freakin' IDIOT!"

Moving Forward... Looking Back

Last week I was so worried about collecting references for my job application that it's funny to remember this one week later when my references have all come in. I got three good references that I was not ashamed to put on my application, and I submitted the app. online today. After that, I set up a District Interview with the personnel director in the district where my wife and I are applying. Our interview will be Monday at 2:00 (Eastern)... so Michelle, A-Dub, Tnonymous, etc., please pray for us.

As I prepare for this weekend's trip (to the interview nearly 1,000 miles away), I have been looking through and updating my professional portfolio. I was working so tirelessly while working on my Master's and teacher certification that I never really took time to sit down and look back. Going through my portfolio was like going through a scrapbook: a newspaper article that was published about my class, evaluations from supervisors, awards that I have won, and an essay I wrote about teaching during my first year... the world was so full of possibilities...

AND STILL IS!!!

That's what I've got to realize. While I get down in the present, sometimes, I have to remember that it's been a fun ride and there's more fun to come... and I'm having a little bit of fun here and there right now when I sit back and think about it.

You wanted it, you got it!

Sweetbabyk "tagged" me, so I have to fill this out. I was actually kind of fun!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:11 (seriously, I thought it was odd and remembered it)

2. Diamonds or Pearls? NEITHER

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Dick and Jane, then Narnia right afterwards (on the same ticket)

4. What is your favorite TV show? THE OFFICE (American!)

5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? oatmeal and raisins

6. What is your middle name? Brianne

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian, fried chicken and mashed potatoes, seafood, etc.

8. What foods do you dislike? anything with mayonnaise

9. Your favorite Potato chip? chips and salsa (not potato, but oh well)

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? System of a Down's Hypnotize has gotten a lot of play lately

11.What kind of car do you drive? 1998 Mercury Mystique

12. Favorite sandwich? meatball or chicken parmesean

13. What characteristics do you despise? rude, lazy, liberal, pro-choice

14. What are your favorite clothes? t-shirts, khaki pants, and sandals like these:


15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Russia

16. What color is your bathroom? like some sort of beige or earth tone or something

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Tommy khakis, Doc Martens shoes, otherwise whatever works

18. Where would you want to retire to? somewhere rural, with a porch swing, some books, and a 12 gauge

19. Favorite time of day? anytime that I'm having fun

20. Where were you born? New Orleans, Louisiana

21. Favorite sport to watch? bullriding

22. Coke or Pepsi? I'm a water guy, myself, but since I prefer Aquafina, I suppose Pepsi

23. Are you a morning person or night owl? NIGHT IZZOWL

24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Only 75 work days remaining in this school year!

25. What did you want to be when you were little? a lawyer

26. What is your best childhood memory? watching the sunset with my middle school sweetheart

27. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? grocery sacker/stocker, cashier at a men's clothing store, small-group tutor, car salesman, unemployed, waiter, teacher, movie extra

28. Nicknames: Starch, Driftwood, T-Bird, M-DOC (Matt Damon on Crack)

29. Piercings? None

30. Eye Color? Blue

31. Ever been to Africa? No.

32. Ever been toilet papering? Every day

33. Been in a car accident? Kind of, sort of... not really

34. Favorite day of the week? Any day that I have off

35. Favorite restaurant? K-Paul's Louisiana Kitchen, Ann's Kitchen and Taste of Thai, El Rodeo

Flying Cars

The Batmobile Enters the 21st Century

Last night, my wife and I finally got to rent Batman Begins. While, according to Slice 'O Life, Capote is not for everyone, Batman Begins definitely IS! It has it all, live action, bad guys, a huge crush, and a really badass car! (And let's not forget ALFRED! If I were gay, I'd totally have a thing for Alfred!) For the record, I'm NOT gay, and neither is Alfred (to the best of my knowledge).

However, let me get back to the really badass car. I always liked the Batmobile, but I think I like this new one even better... the one that jumps across buildings and bodies of water... a lot like the General Lee!


While I don't think I'll ever get over my childlike fascination with "The General" (I was only 3 years old when Dukes... was on TV), I think this new Batmobile is pretty darn close. I think I want my next car to be a flying car... I'm too cheap to buy an airplane.

Am I really so useless?

The past few days have been relatively quiet... I've completed another week of work with only 75 more work days remaining... and 16 days of sick leave that I'm free to use whenever... so maybe 59?

Who's counting anymore? I obviously am, but I don't find myself viewing my work with the same sense of dread that I had previously. Although I feel like I work a job that is useless and see myself as accomplishing very little of worth, I have begun to think, "Perhaps, this is... normal?" Often, I have found myself thinking along the lines of, "You are doing nothing with your life and everyone else is doing these great things," when I should be thinking more like, "You are doing nothing with your life and neither is anyone else!" When I ask myself what a really important job is, my first reaction is a position of power, like, let's say, the president. But the way Dubya is governing, I begin to think that we'd be better off without a president. What could be more useless than making decisions that get a bunch of people killed and ruin many lives?

As for me, I have not injured anyone in my line of work, and I don't think that I have ruined anyone's life... nor made them look like a freakin' idiot! (Well, maybe I've done the last part a few times, but those kids did not need any help from me.)

So... next time I drive away from work, I will congratulate myself on ruining ZERO lives during my shift.

T-Shirt Day

Sometime before basketball season, some guy (me) had this great idea to print a bunch of spirit t-shirts for teachers and students to wear on home game days. Well, today's the last home basketball game and I'm wearing my t-shirt. It feels good... so much more comfortable than my usual attire.

When I was in college, I'd wear a plain white t-shirt and khaki pants just about everywhere I went. While I'm not going around today in my "white tee," the t-shirt and khaki look still suits me... even if I have to tuck it in.

It's shaping up to be a good day... one day at a time, trust in my God, etc... great advice from my great readers!

The light of my own fire...

Another day has passed... a half day of teaching followed by a half day of useless banter, a.k.a. "professional staff development."

The school improvement team has this idea to extend lunch to an hour, part of which would be spent eating and part of which would be spent in a mentor/enrichment group. Not that it's a bad idea (there are a lot of possibilities), but there was no PLAN to implement it... so it could go in any direction. One of the staff members asked me, one-on-one, if I would like to put together something with computers to do with a group during that time. I told him that it was, technically, possible, but I couldn't get too excited about it until I see how it shapes up. I'd love to have been excited, but once you've been disappointed enough times, it's sort of a defense mechanism not to get excited about unknown possibilities. Perhaps, tomorrow, I will go and talk to this staff member and clarify my position further.

I'm not a person of limited enthusiasm. In fact, my recent burnout has surprised me (thus the blog to figure the whole thing out) quite a bit. That the guy still has some limited faith in me says something for him, or for me, or for somebody out there.

I've been preoccupied as of late gathering materials for my job application to South Carolina. While I've been admitted into Clemson, assistanships have not been announced yet and I still need to work on Plan B (full-time employment). Part of the process is getting online references, one of which I asked my former assistant principal to write for me. She said she would and seemed quite enthused about it, but then I saw how she rated me and it made me look... well, average. I've never considered myself to be an average teacher, but hell, maybe I am. Who wants to hire average? Average is often what is hired, but most people don't know it or admit it to themselves at the time.

So, over three days, I have gathered only ONE (of three) references that I can use. The district technology director was very good to me, unlike the old assistant principal. I am still awaiting to hear back from my old principal. I bolted from his school on bad terms, but I've since apologized and I thought that might have made a difference. Perhaps, he's just been away from the office or something. Who knows? Right now, I sit here wondering whether, in spite of three years of hard work, all I have to show for it is a series of burned bridges. It reminds me of a passage in Isaiah (Chapter 50):

11 But now, all you who light fires
and provide yourselves with flaming torches,
go, walk in the light of your fires
and of the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you shall receive from my hand:
You will lie down in torment.

When I heard this verse read one time, I thought, "that's me." Of course, the first time I heard it, I thought it meant someone who was independent, walking in their own way by their own torch. I guess it does kind of mean that, but while you're off walking your own way, you set a lot of shit on fire without even realizing it. Perhaps, I should take more note of the verse that precedes it:

10 Who among you fears the LORD
and obeys the word of his servant?
Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the LORD
and rely on his God.

I feel as if so many bridges have burned, fizzled out, and I am without light. There is nothing more I can do than to rely on my God... a sobering and comforting thought all at once...

...It sure beats lying down in torment.